The Hair Card
After I died, I called my mom to freak out about it and we laughed until we cried. Then I told Natalie that hair is not an art supply. Add that to the list of things I never thought I would have to say. I started wondering why on Earth my daughter would cut off her hair and make art with it. Was it something that I did? Something I didn't do? She had a plethora of art supplies in front of her. Stickers, construction paper, tissue paper, yarn, you name it. She chose her hair. Why? Why? Why? Well it wasn't about me as a mother. It wasn't even truly about her hair this time. She is an artist. She loves beauty. She aspires to be on Project Runway when she is a grown up designer. To her, that hair must have looked so beautiful contrasting with the green foam that she had little choice but to follow her vision. True artists make sacrifices for their work, and she has certainly shown that she is worthy.
I do draw the line on art and hair. Hair is not an art supply in this house. But I will nurture my little artist and help her grow. I may or may not be locking up all the scissors and eating the key. I am also framing The Hair Card and putting it in her childhood box of memories so that when she has daughters, she will know exactly what she was like as a young artist. Natalie is a challenge. Every day. My 5 year old Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. She drives me bananas, steals my fabric, draws on the walls, uses scissors on things that aren't meant to be scissored, shouts when she is frustrated, blames her misdeeds on her brother, lies even when it doesn't make sense, takes things without asking, removes her shoes 60 seconds before the bus arrives, and changes her mind about her breakfast order when the first one is complete. On the flip side she is a most entertaining big sister, she has amazing ideas for stories, books, drawings, and sculptures, she makes gifts for everyone, tells me I am beautiful, wears all her handmade clothes with pride, and dances to all the music. I will always remember The Hair Card. The last minute rush to the car because we missed the bus, drawings on the wall, lies, and petty misdeeds won't be important to any of us in the near future, much less in the far future. At the end of the day it is our lasting memories that count. I've been trying to just survive for a while now, but The Hair Card has made resolve to live like I'm young, laugh until I cry, do something bold and passionate, even if it might be a little stupid, and have no regrets. Those are the things I will remember.
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